Howl of pain

Serenity and peace is all that I dream of
Breathing - I am
But eyes open and I see
Blood all over
Bombs thrown in, to break lives around
To break minds
Innocents die
Lives whipped in the name of religion
Mind wonders which God says KILL
Father cries over the loss of his son
Life never would let him forget the last words of his son
“Father, Are you asleep? Where’s Ma?”
Tender years unable to realise the loss of birth givers
A day to celebrate the day of its birth,
And the tender child is ‘gifted’ with its parent’s death
Deserve, does it?
Save the home – The soldiers do
Losing their lives – to the cruelty bleeding the home
Ruthlessness rejoices seeing the blood and broken lives
Life – is all that matters to the lives
But cruelty stings the poison deep in
Silence in cries, Agony in tears
Shriek in hush-hush dead air
Cry of anguish and loss
Quiet in chaos – melancholy
No mind of any God said KILL,
Yet lives take lives.

Glad we met!

Chirpy days and sunny nights!
Smiling through the walkway
Looking around to find you
In a corner of my eye
That sparkle of joy, That tinge of red
Days fly away, waiting for that smile to fade
Waiting to check if the smile’s just for a while
But here comes the smile with every dawn
But here comes the rays of the smile every dusk
Peppy, Perky – I find me
You aren’t mine, yet you are
Glad I am, that we met
Just a handful of times yes,
But Thanks for the silent smiles
No one, but you gave them to me
I am here always, when you need
I’ll just wait for life to play
Its part of the game
Good, if we meet.
Thanks again!

My Kingdom

King, I am
Dynasties and States I own
My kingdom
I rule
Wars I fought
Bloodshed I have seen
Empires I built
Treasures I earned
Silver, Jewels, Emerald – I have it all
Slaves – I own
My empire
I wake up – to realize
I am the King of my own world
I am awake now
I am nothing
Nor do I own anything
Emperor of my kingdom
Was all that I was
I wake up.

Wait

A walk in the rain,
Raindrops chilling the innermost inside
Shivering inside
But eyes reflecting smiles
Cold around but shivering happy inside
Every step taken to reach warmth soon
Numb feet
But walking, running happy
Happiness untold
Pressed inside
Waiting to be told
Song on the lips all the time
Days waiting the endless wait
To the walk of life
Hands reaching for life
Is this life?
Happiness is what this is!
But is this life?
The wait continues to discover the answer
But smiles all the way walking hand in hand
With the wait
Warmth – come come come!



**To my friend who said i write nothing happy**

**Rob**

Rob died,
Life, he asked for
Life, he wished for
But life, never cared
to see what Rob would want
would wish
Life, still jets
And Rob hoped for another day
Every other day
Life treated him worser
Rob, never forgot to smile
Rob smiled
Rob sang
He said, 'I'd have to go anyway, why not smile, have fun and go?'
Rob dreamt of a concert
Where Music would take over all of him
Rob desperately waited for that day
Rob wanted death to come after that day
His Dream
Finally, there's the day
Rob played music like he never did
Music finally took over him
Rob and his dream - Music
Rob smiled again
Rob smiled again
Rob smiled with the music
Lived
Lived his dream
Lived and lived
And soon, death came
Death - Thanks for giving me the time
Thanks for the life
Thanks for the day
My dream, My wish
Now, you can take me.

Silence

Silence
Silence in the room
Takes away all her smiles
Noise, noise is all that she wants
Music is all that she loves
And music fills her life
Every moment of hers is filled with music
Music is where she finds solace
The good old radio in the room –
The source of her music
Played everything she wanted
She learnt music
She sang along the radio
She jumped with the songs
Cried with the songs!
Laughed with the songs
Screamed with the songs
Sang aloud with songs
Sometimes, quietly listened to the songs
When pearls of tears crept out of her eyes
Running through her cheeks and when touched her lips
A smile slowly crept in!
Music – made her live
Her room was the ‘home’
And music was her life
The radio died one day
And the room went silent
Silent, dead silent!
Silence suddenly took over her love
Silence suddenly took over her life
Silence – She hated
But now, all that she had was silence
And the good old radio gone forever
Dead and gone
And silence – ALIVE!

The doors close

Closed are the doors behind

Light i walk in search of

Love stands behind the doors

And i close the door, reluctant

But, light i need to walk in to


For that is what i have to do

Against what i really want to do

Love, i say – I will wait for you

But my love does not love me

I will wait for the day when

You would hold me dear in your arms

I walk into light, reluctant

Knowing you never loved me the way i did

But i’d still wait to see the day

If you could hold me close to you

Where i would feel every breath of yours

Love, there you stand behind the doors

My doors will never close for you

I now have to walk in search of light

For that is what i have to do

My last breath would wait to see

The door open behind me

Where i would see your shadow move ahead of you

To reach for me, where our shadows would meet

Till that day, i would wait

Just for you, in the light

The doors close behind me, reluctant.

A new death

Dying a new death everyday

Nights go by with hopes of a new day

Twilight awaits with hopes of a new dawn

But every dawn breaks with a new death

Death I see

Death I die everyday

Life I hardly remember

Everyday creeps in with thorns of pain

Pain I take, with a hope to see the dawn

With smile wide

Smiles – I try to spread around me

But pain takes over sometimes

I lose everything, but hope

And here dies my hope at every dawn

Live – Yes I do

To see the loved around - happy

I count on them – But

In pain I stand alone

Hands I find all around

But pain I can’t share

As I die a new death everyday

Greedy to live – Greedy to smile

Greedy for happiness

But here I drown in pain everyday

I mutter to death

Haven’t you had enough from me?

Death laughs! More to go!

Miracle I hope for

Every dusk clings on to hope

To find a new day – A new life

But I lay defeated – Every dawn

Hope – That’s all that I have

Dusk dies with me

May be tomorrow

Death shall finally die!

And I shall LIVE!

Love you Dad!

Father,

Conversations we have never had

We saw each other and parted

Everyday

Anything I needed, I found Mother

So much that, even when I wanted to tell you

Anything, I told it to her

Important I never felt you were to me

Money is all that I got from you

But the day you left

Left for eternity

I understood

That you have made me

A man that I am today

I learnt to stand upright

Work hard and live life

I learnt to be a man

To love people

Stand by anyone in times of distress

I learnt from you

Guard and love the woman you love

I learnt from you

Sweat it out and earn for the family

Stand up against the unjust

Dream and make it true

Breathe and live life

I learnt everything from you

How wrong I was when I thought you weren’t important to me

I look back at the pieces of my life and

Realize that I learnt to walk when you held my hand

Even when I fell, you stood by me, held me and

Inspired me to walk

Now I walk

I walk to life

I miss you now, If only I could talk to you

To thank you for laying your life for me

To thank you for giving me life and making me ‘Me’

But….you have gone, gone forever into the unknown world

Leaving me and telling me to live on my own

I miss you dad, how could I think you were not important to me

How could I think that you have given me nothing but money

I wish you were here, for me to tell you something I had never told you-

Love you Dad.

My Baby!!

Not born from my womb

But how special you are to me!

Holding my finger tip – there

You try to stand up

Clasping my hands,

Standing on my feet – there

You learn to walk!

The umbilical might not have connected us

But here you are – So

Special to me!

My mind’s thinking of you –

All the time and

Here I am in the middle of a dream,

Waking up suddenly to see if you are safe!

Happiness and joy,

That’s what you have brought to me!

Now I learn – my happiness

Knows no bounds – when you chuckle!

When you scream, when you walk those tiny steps

When you crawl fast unto me

For a big hug!

My happiness…

My small little bundle of joy! My baby!

My happiness truly knows no bounds –

When you call me ‘Ma’!

My little baby!

Here I Fly

Please don’t go, please don’t leave me – I said

He still left

Life suddenly seemed cruel and bad

A look at the clock at 8 everyday

With an endless wait for a call

For a small little message

With months passing by

Lifted myself from self pity

I knew I had to smile, I did

But frowned inside

I wasn’t faking it, I wasn’t lying

But some things just have to happen

I was left in the middle of the runway called life

With no explanations

But I knew I had to fly

Occasional guilt trips and regrets

But that should never bog me down

Like a song, I never knew why I liked you so much

But now you put me through all this pain

Just for one big mistake of mine of liking you

I felt heaven with you in my life

And suddenly the world I was standing on was pulled off my feet

I fell, I know I did

But like a great soul once said, Time heals

It did

The clock strikes 8 everyday and it goes unnoticed

It’s a clock! It has to strike every hour!

I look at it this way now!

But walking through this, I discovered something

Life will never stop for me

It will go on

Nothing will bog me down

It will only lift me and I shall fly again

Every fall would end becoming wind under my wings and

Here I fly again!

Thanks to you for the pain

Now I fly and promise myself would surely find me

At every leap and fall!

Here I fly again!

Daddy, I love you

Daddy, I love you

When ma’s out, you call me into the room

You ask me to lie down beside you,

Why daddy?

You then run your hands all over me

I know not why

I know not anything

I do not like the feeling

You fondle every bit of me

I ask you why? With my eyebrows raised

And you scream at me

Scared I lay quiet

Every morning I pray to God,

That - ma shouldn’t go out today

I am hurt daddy

Ah you give me so much pain

But God doesn’t hear my prayer

Ma goes out everyday

I am bleeding daddy

I can’t stop my tears

You scream at me and ask me not to tell it to anybody

But it hurts daddy, I am in pain

I can’t even cry

I love you daddy

But I do not know what you are doing to me

You hurt me everyday daddy

Where do I go and let myself open?

I hate you daddy – I am hurt everyday

I fear you daddy – I love you no more

Your presence makes me shiver

I know not why

But I am scared of you daddy

You hurt me everyday

Ma, I wish you knew my pain

I wish you were here

I wish you never went

And I wish I could tell it happily

Like all my friends –

“I love you daddy”.